SBC Tutoring and Mentoring

“If you are wondering what kind of academic support your child truly needs, I would like to share the story of our daughter Angel and Sam over the past four years.

When Angel first came to the United States for high school in ninth grade, she was not a particularly confident child. This was especially true in writing. She had always felt that she was not naturally talented at it. She is a perfectionist, and because she worried that her writing was not good enough, she was often afraid to express her ideas. Sam is one of the few teachers who is truly willing to read a student’s writing carefully and seriously.

I still remember the first time Angel submitted an essay to Sam. The Google Doc was almost completely filled with comments. Some were about structure, some were about logic, and some simply asked, “What are you really trying to say here?” Many times, one essay would go through several rounds of revision. Sam would not simply say “good job” or “keep trying.” He would tell her very specifically which sentence could be more precise, or which argument could be developed further.

Gradually, Angel stopped being afraid of writing.

Later, she would take the initiative to talk with us about short stories, historical figures, and why characters in novels made certain choices. She began to truly enjoy reading and thinking, rather than simply “finishing homework.” For us, this was a tremendous change. One of Sam’s greatest influences on her was that he helped her learn how to be genuinely curious and how to think deeply about questions.

Before, when Angel studied history, it was more like memorizing facts. But Sam would constantly ask her, “Why?” “What if you stood in another person’s position?” “What do you think he would do first?” Under Sam’s guidance, Angel fell in love with history and politics. Topics that once felt vast and empty became, in Sam’s hands, interesting exercises in logical reasoning and detective work. Later, with Sam’s guidance, Angel completed a research project on feminism and psychology in her favorite video game. From not knowing how to organize sources, to reading two books, to completing a research paper of more than twenty pages, and finally to publication, this was a major breakthrough for her.

Another thing we have always been grateful to Sam for is that he taught Angel how to develop courage and initiative.

Before, she was very afraid of emailing professors. She always felt that “they won’t respond to me” or “they will look down on me.” Sam would work with her line by line to revise her emails and teach her how to ask questions and express her thoughts. Later, she really began reaching out to professors, asking questions, seeking feedback, and receiving replies and recognition from them. She tasted the fruit of being brave. This kind of initiative, and the mental habit of not fearing the unknown but daring to explore and try, is actually far more important for a teenager than test scores.

Of course, Sam’s academic help was also very clear.

During the summer before tenth grade, he helped Angel prepare in advance for AP English, AP U.S. History, and AP European History. This was not simply test drilling. He helped her build methods for reading, writing, and analysis. That year, her grades improved very quickly. She ultimately ranked first in her grade, earned 5s on her AP exams, and eventually scored 1540 on the SAT. But if we used only these numbers to define Sam’s help, that would be incomplete. Improved grades were really a byproduct of his education.

We feel that what makes Sam truly special is his deep insight. He cultivates students in many different ways, and he deeply understands the importance of relationships in a child’s development.

At one point, Angel was very worried that her relationship with one of her teachers was distant. Sam did not simply comfort her. Instead, he carefully helped her analyze where the problem might be, understand the teacher’s psychology, and think through how she should communicate and build interaction. Later, that teacher became very supportive of her and ultimately wrote her an extremely strong recommendation letter.

Similar things happened many times over the past few years. Whether with friends, teachers, or larger academic topics, Sam consistently helped Angel build her ability to express herself and develop confidence beyond the classroom. For many years, he guided her as she prepared Hume speeches, political debates, and various class presentations. In the past, Angel would be so nervous on stage that her voice trembled. But later, when we listened to her speak, we could clearly feel that she had begun to organize her ideas with ease and knew how to use different techniques to make others want to listen seriously to what she had to say.

But as parents, what we are most grateful to Sam for is not these “results.” It is that he has always cared deeply about Angel’s growth as a person.

Often, they did not just talk about writing or history. They also talked about her loneliness at boarding school, problems with friends, pressure, self-doubt, and how to adapt to a completely unfamiliar environment. Sam once suggested that we have a long video call with Angel every week, instead of simply asking on WeChat, “How have you been recently?” That suggestion had a real impact on us. It allowed us to truly re-enter and participate in our daughter’s growth in the United States.

Angel has always had some issues with procrastination. Once, Sam compared her state of mind when she was doing a project in ninth grade with her state of mind when she was writing her Concord Review paper in eleventh grade, and asked her to see for herself where the difference was. He did not simply criticize her as “lazy.” Instead, he helped her realize that she had always had the ability to do the work; she just needed to find a way to get herself into the right state.

Looking back now, the greatest change in Angel over these four years is that she finally began to believe that she is someone who can express opinions, someone who can independently research a question, and someone with enough ability and confidence to move toward a broader world. She has published research and creative writing. She has learned to email professors. She has learned to speak boldly in front of many people without being overly concerned about others’ judgments. She has also learned to face pressure, self-doubt, and relationships with greater maturity. These things are very difficult to truly capture with an SAT score or GPA.

So if someone asks me what kind of teacher Sam is, I would say this:

As parents, we know very clearly that the hardest thing for a child to gain while growing up is not a single high score, but a deep inner confidence: the belief that she has the ability to face the unknown, to stand up again after falling, and to move toward a world larger than the classroom. This kind of confidence often influences a child for many, many years. For Angel, Sam is the person who helped lead her to this point. Perhaps years from now, the high SAT score and AP scores Sam helped her achieve will gradually be forgotten. But we believe that the more important things Sam gave her — his insight, a love of knowledge, the habit of independent thinking, the courage to face an unfamiliar world, and the belief that “I can do this” — will always remain with her.

And as parents, this is what we are most grateful for.”

- Angela in Shanghai